Silly Sunday

Silly Sunday

In my mature years, I’m finally beginning to understand the Bible! For those who haven’t heard, the State of Washington just passed two laws: Same-sex Marriage & Legalized Marijuana The fact that same-sex marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says: “If a man lies with another man they should be stoned.” I just hadn’t interpreted it correctly before.

Happy Easter everyone!


Published: April 16, 2017

Silly Sunday

Sunday is the place to come for weekly laughs. The rules are simple, just have fun.

This is a great opportunity to get to know other bloggers and have a laugh or two in the process.

Here is how it works: Laugh and Link Up!

Post a joke.
Link Up with the URL to your joke in the Linky Tools Widget.
Read my joke.
Leave a comment to tell me how much you enjoyed my joke.
Try and visit a few others participating in Silly Sunday.


Published: April 9, 2017

Silly Sunday

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS…
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS…
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Spotted in a safari park:
(I sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK.)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife And Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya’ think?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting DefendantÂ
See if that works better than a fair trial!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya’ think?!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
And the winner is…
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?


Published: April 2, 2017

Silly Sunday

Sunday is the place to come for weekly laughs. The rules are simple, just have fun.

This is a great opportunity to get to know other bloggers and have a laugh or two in the process.

Here is how it works: Laugh and Link Up!

Post a joke.
Link Up with the URL to your joke in the Linky Tools Widget.
Read my joke.
Leave a comment to tell me how much you enjoyed my joke.
Try and visit a few others participating in Silly Sunday.


Published: March 26, 2017

Silly Sunday

Paddy O’Toole and Colleen O’Gille were very much in love. One night Paddy propoded to Colleen and she accepted. He gave her a diamond ring that would chock a horse (If your into choking horses with big diamonds).

When Colleen got home she was so excited she woke up her father, Darby O’Gille. No not thee Darby O’Gille king of the wee people. However, Darby knew a thing or two about diamonds and told her it was fake.

She immediately went to Paddy’s house and pounded on the door screaming that the diamond was a fake!

Paddy told her the fake diamond ring was in honor of Saint Patrick. It was a sham rock.

Sunday is the place to come for weekly laughs. The rules are simple, just have fun.

This is a great opportunity to get to know other bloggers and have a laugh or two in the process.

Here is how it works: Laugh and Link Up!

Post a joke.
Link Up with the URL to your joke in the Linky Tools Widget.
Read my joke.
Leave a comment to tell me how much you enjoyed my joke.
Try and visit a few others participating in Silly Sunday.


Published: March 19, 2017

Silly Sunday

Sunday is the place to come for weekly laughs. The rules are simple, just have fun.

This is a great opportunity to get to know other bloggers and have a laugh or two in the process.

Here is how it works: Laugh and Link Up!

Post a joke.
Link Up with the URL to your joke in the Linky Tools Widget.
Read my joke.
Leave a comment to tell me how much you enjoyed my joke.
Try and visit a few others participating in Silly Sunday.


Published: March 12, 2017

Silly Sunday Cowboy

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Dakota prairies without water….

His horse had already died of thirst.

He’s crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the ground several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the ground and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie.

But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing an Internal Revenue Service ID badge and a dull grey dress.

There’s a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. ‘Well, cowboy,’ says the genie,

‘You know how I work….You have three wishes.’

‘I’m not falling for this,’ said the cowboy. ‘I’m not going to trust an IRS genie.’

‘What do you have to lose? You’ve got no transportation, and it looks like you’re a goner anyway!’

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right.

‘OK! I wish I were along-side a lush spring with plenty of food and drink.’

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself beside the most beautiful spring he has ever seen, and he’s surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

‘OK, cowpoke, what’s your second wish.’

‘My second wish is that I was rich …. beyond my wildest dreams.’

** *POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

‘OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.

Better make it a good one!’

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says,

‘I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.’

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

Moral of the story:

If the U.S. government offers to help you, there’s going to be a string attached.


Published: March 5, 2017

Silly Sunday

Perils of a Catholic Upbringing

As I walked down the busy sidewalk with my wife, knowing I was late for Mass my eyes fell upon one of those unfortunate ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling my old pastor, Father Mike, who always admonished me to “care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked”, I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying her treasured worldly possessions in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person’s condition.

Yes, where some people saw only rags,
I saw a true, hidden beauty.

A small voice inside my head called out,

“Reach out….

reach out . . .

and touch this person!”

So I did

I wo9n’t be at Mass for a few weeks.


Published: February 26, 2017